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Monday, August 21
8:00 a.m. It’s Not Easy Being Green – Carol doesn’t believe Patrick when he says he’s jinxed on Halloween – until they are scared to death by a few real-life monsters.
8:30 a.m. Dirty Harry – When Carol convinces Harry to appear with her and Patrick on the “Geraldo” talk show, she breaks down – and Harry breaks Geraldo’s nose.
9:00 a.m. Timing is Everything – When Harry tries to rekindle a romance with an old friend, he discovers that sometimes memories can be sweeter.
9:30 a.m. Thanksgiving at the Westons’ – The memory of the Thanksgiving holiday two years ago is still fresh in the minds of the Westons – until they try to recall who burned the Thanksgiving day turkey.
10:00 a.m. The Body Beautiful – While Carol tries to develop the perfect figure for Patrick to sculpt, Harry deals with a young athlete who’s also pushing his body to the limits – with steroids.
10:30 a.m. Overboard – After sailing with a ship full of religious fanatics, Charley returns home a changed man, free from worldy possessions – and desires.
11:00 a.m. Emily – When Harry’s youngest daughter Emily returns home for an extended visit, her free-spirited antics melt her father’s heart – as well as give him heartburn.
11:30 a.m. The Sting – When Emily goes undercover to catch an international jewel theif, she complicates her assignment – by falling in love.
Tuesday, August 22
8:00 a.m. The Fracas in Vegas – Charley and Harry fly to Vegas for a prize fight while Emily’s friends from college crash at the Westons’ house.
8:30 a.m. Pardon My Flashback – The Westons, Laverne and Charley gather to watch the Super Bowl.
9:00 a.m. Dog Day Afternoon – Carol consults a pet therapist to mend her relationship with Dreyfuss.
9:30 a.m. More to Love – Emily doubts her decision to date an overweight man.
10:00 a.m. My Dad, My Doctor – Emily and Harry disagree over the appropriate treatment method for her knee injury.
10:30 a.m. Love and Marriage – Carol’s insecurities about love surface when a younger cousin gets married.
11:00 a.m. The All-American Boy…Not – Harry befriends a troubled youth while volunteering at an inner-city clinic.
11:30 a.m. Two for the Road – Carol is convinced that Patrick and Emily are having an affair.
Wednesday, August 23
8:00 a.m. Aunt Verne Knows Best – Laverne’s nephew moves to Miami for college.
8:30 a.m. My Mother, My Self – Charley’s mother visits and announces her divorce from his father.
9:00 a.m. Charley to the Rescue – Emily takes a job on Charley’s cruise ship and must fend off the advances of the ship’s lecherous comic.
9:30 a.m. Surprise! Surprise! – Harry overhears what he thinks are plans for a surprise birthday party.
10:00 a.m. When the Rooster Dies – Harry is sent to evaluate the hospital’s inner-city clinic; Sophia Petrillo moves back into the neighborhood.
10:30 a.m. Bye Bye Baby…Hello (Part One) – Carol decides to end her relationship with Patrick.
11:00 a.m. Bye Bye Baby…Hello (Part Two) – Carol reacts to her pregnancy.
11:30 a.m. Mama Todd, the Sequel – Laverne’s ex-mother-in-law visits, unaware that Laverne and Nick are divorced.
Thursday, August 24
8:00 a.m. Mom’s the Word – Carol frets about telling her date she’s pregnant.
8:30 a.m. Diary of a Mad Housewife – Carol reads her mother’s old diary and learns that she was as unplanned pregnancy.
9:00 a.m. Mother Dearest – Maxine squabbles with her visiting mother (Marla Gibbs) until they discover a health concern.
9:30 a.m. No Volunteers, Please – A lonely volunteer at the clinic develops an unusual attachment to Laverne.
10:00 a.m. Das Boob – Harry and Charley are stranded at sea during a boating exhibition; Maxine confronts her fear of public speaking.
10:30 a.m. The Girl Who Cried Baby – Carol convinces herself she’s in labor…multiple times.
11:00 a.m. Superbaby – When the baby starts singing Beethoven, Carol becomes convinced he was switched at the hospital.
11:30 a.m. Read All About It – When a reporter writes a one-sided story on Harry’s leadership at the clinic, it leads to a rift with Maxine.
Friday, August 25
8:00 a.m. Love a la Mode – Charley announces his surprise engagement to a waitress from the Pie Palace; Laverne thinks her shared birthday with Maxine is one of their several obvious similarities.
8:30 a.m. What’s a Mother to Do? – Carol considers herself the worst mother in the world when she accidentally locks the baby in the car.
9:00 a.m. Gesundheit – Charley takes in Dreyfuss when the Westons fear the baby has a dog allergy; Laverne is convinced the clinic is haunted.
9:30 a.m Under the Gun – Harry worries when a young patient begins carrying a gun for protection; Carol’s date with a cultured anthropologist is thwarted by Charley.
10:00 a.m Brotherly Shove – Charley’s shady brother, Deiter, offers him a job as a used car salesman; Laverne and Maxine take up jogging – competitively.
10:30 a.m. The Ballad of Shady Pines – Laverne is embroiled in a love triangle – with Sophia – when she volunteers at Shady Pines; Charley’s feelings are hurt when Harry asks Maxine to housesit instead of him.
11:00 a.m. Hog Heaven – Harry isn’t too keen on Laverne’s new biker boyfriend; Carol makes a video diary for the baby.
11:30 a.m. Charley’s Millions – Charley receives an unexpected inheritance from a deceased cruise ship passenger; Laverne mourns the death of her cat.
Monday, August 28
8:00 a.m. Half That Jazz – Harry persuades his former jazz idol to come out of retirement for a hospital benefit concert.
8:30 a.m. A Foreign Affair – Maxine’s relationship with a cultural attache leads to a life-changing decision.
9:00 a.m. Lordy, Lordy Landlordy – Harry, Maxine and Laverne battle the clinic’s sleazy landlord over needed repairs.
9:30 a.m. The Devil and Dr. Weston – Harry is wooed by a wealthy philanthropist; Carol mentors a shy cosmetics saleswoman.
10:00 a.m. Absence Makes the Nurse Grow Weirder – Harry is attracted to the nurse at his old office, while Laverne frets over romantic dreams she’s suddenly having about Harry.
10:30 a.m. Best Friends – Harry is romantically drawn to Carol’s childhood friend.
11:00 a.m. Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About – Rumors fly when Charley and Laverne begin spending a lot of time together; Carol applies for a job as a newspaper reporter.
11:30 a.m. Just For Laughs – Charley decides to become a stand-up comedian.
Tuesday, August 29
8:00 a.m. Mrs. Clinton Comes to Town – The clinic preps for a visit from Hillary Clinton as reporter Carol schemes to land an interview.
8:30 a.m. A Chip Off the Old Charley – Charley discovers he is the father of a 17-year-old concert flautist; Carol fills in for Laverne at the clinic and attempts to put a damper on Maxine’s smoking addiction.
9:00 a.m. The Woman Who Came to Dither – Sophia moves in with the Westons after a fight with the Shady Pines manager.
9:30 a.m. Carol Gets a Raise – A late night at the office and a pot of spiked coffee leads Carol into the arms of her boss.
10:00 a.m. The Courtship of Carol’s Father – Carol sets Harry up with a lounge singer just as a former flame of Harry’s shows renewed interest.
10:30 a.m. The Tinker Grant – Harry, Maxine and Laverne attempt to impress a potential funder.
11:00 a.m. Would You Believe… – Harry finds himself attracted to Charley’s minister girlfriend.
11:30 a.m. Partly Cloudy With a Chance of Pain – Maxine’s relationship with a local TV weatherman becomes fodder for his ratings; Carol and Charley make a New Year’s resolution wager.
Wednesday, August 30
8:00 a.m. Single White Male – Charley grapples with the fact that his new roommate is gay; Maxine joins Harry’s golf foursome.
8:30 a.m. Dear Aunt Martha – Carol uses the newspaper’s advice column to land a man.
9:00 a.m. Goodbye Charley – Fearing that no one will miss him when he’s dead, Charley enlists Carol’s help to throw himself a funeral.
9:30 a.m. Family Practice – Maxine must care for a patient’s four children while their mother recuperates from surgery; Harry accompanies Sophia to the Shady Pines square dance.
10:00 a.m. Grandma, What Big Eyes You Have – Harry discovers that his new girlfriend is married; Carol becomes addicted to bulk-size shopping.
10:30 a.m. Feelings, Whoa Whoa Whoa, Feelings… – Laverne claims she isn’t attracted to her visiting friend, Matt, but jealousy surfaces when he asks Carol out instead of her.
11:00 a.m. And Kevin Makes Three – Carol is envious of Kevin’s fast bond with Scotty.
11:30 a.m. Harry Weston: Man’s Best Friend – Harry reluctantly begins socializing with Carol’s boss in order to boost her career.
Thursday, August 31
8:00 a.m. The Ex-Files – Carol worries that Kevin may still be attracted to his gorgeous, brilliant ex-wife.
8:30 a.m. Stand By Your Man – Laverne and Matt deal with the trials of a long-distance relationship.
9:00 a.m. Life Goes On (Part One) – As the gang prepares for a trip to Hickory for Laverne’s wedding, Harry ponders a job offer and Carol makes a big announcement.
9:30 a.m. Life Goes On (Part Two) – Laverne’s elopement has unexpected consequences; Barbara returns home.
10:00 a.m. My Pal Valy-Val – Carol befriends a mentally unstable psychiatrist; Charley stows away on Harry’s wilderness weekend; a psychic opens up shop next to the clinic.
10:30 a.m. Remembrance of Clips Past – The gang gathers at Harry’s to celebrate Laverne’s engagement and reminisce about old times.
11:00 a.m. Pilot – Harry is shocked to learn that his weekly meals with a lady friend are actually dates.
11:30 a.m. The Check Isn’t in the Mail – Carol pulls out all the stops for a dinner date with her contemptible ex-husband.
Friday, September 1
8:00 a.m. Barbara Gets Shot – Harry is distraught about Barbara’s career when she’s injured in the line of duty.
8:30 a.m. Fatal Attraction – Harry attempts to fend off the advances of Blanche Devereaux.
9:00 a.m. Father of the Bride – Harry is thrilled when the doctor he fixed Barbara up with proposes marriage.
9:30 a.m. Harry’s Vacation – The girls send Harry off on a relaxing vacation that proves anything but relaxing.
10:00 a.m. Tinker to Evers to Tucson – Laverne announces her resignation when her husband is traded to an Arizona baseball team.
10:30 a.m. What’s a Father to Do? – Harry inadvertently makes plans with both Carol and Barbara for the same evening.
11:00 a.m. Harry’s Friend – Harry isn’t too thrilled to discover that Carol is dating his old friend.
11:30 a.m. Libby’s Gift – An organ ordered by Libby before her death arrives two years later.